I’ve often thought about where I should begin, in time that is, in telling people the story of how I got here. I can’t say it was one singular event, or one singular decision but a series of bad choices, good fortune, and chance. My friends would say I’m one lucky son of a bitch and I guess that’s true. I was always taught to “think things through” and to not “be stupid.” I wasn’t stupid. Not at all.
See, the story of how I got here, where I am sitting right now, in this 3,000-square foot apartment on the 43rd floor of a glass clad building overlooking this magnificent town starts just a few blocks from here, in the alley behind Deveres bar. It happened one night as I stumbled out the back door. Well, it was more like I was kicked out really, but it doesn’t really matter how I got there, I got there. As I stumbled up from the wet ground, with a bit of blood coming from my top lip, I noticed a dark figure walking up to me. The silhouetted figure was tall, wearing a trench coat and a fedora. As it approached me, I noticed the figure start to take shape it. It wasn’t until she was right on top of me that I noticed how attractive she was. I was at first scared, but after seeing that tight blue dress on her, all fear went away.
In one of those straight-out-of-a-movie moments, she bent down to me and asked me for a light. I couldn’t know that that question would change my life. How could I? I didn’t have a lighter and was so inebriated I could barely stand on my own. But I was eventually able to stand up. And as I did, she moved even closer to me, I noticed her looking me up and down, and then, without warning, she said that I “would do” and to follow her.
Now I am not sure about you, but it doesn’t matter how fucking hot a woman is when you meet one in a dark alley and they “follow me” you feel a bit uneasy. I sure as the hell did. We walked in silence to the end of the building where she had a car waiting and a man standing with the door opened. As we walked closer to the car, no one said anything, not the lady, not the driver, and sure as the hell not me. I barely knew where I was and knew that I should not have drunk those last 6 beers. But it was one of those days.
I got in the car, without question, and sat down directly next to the lady in blue. I started to ask her name, but before I got more than 2 words out, she stopped me. “All will be revealed soon.” She said. What the fuck? Here I am, in the back of this car, with this strange, but gorgeous lady, going God knows where, and “all will be revealed soon.” Did she want my kidneys? She sure as the hell didn’t want a washed-up actor to be her escort for the night. Especially one who could barely walk or talk in the state I was in.
As we pulled up to a condo tower somewhere downtown, the doorman came to open the door. “Mrs. Spencer,” he said as he slightly bowed his head. “Welcome home.” Ahh, I thought, now I know her name, or at least her last name, and that she lived here. “Mr. Wells, welcome.” How did the doorman know my name? I followed the beautiful lady to the elevator, then in the elevator, then up to the 43rd floor.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” she said. “You will not ask questions. You will remove all your clothes, you smell like a brewery. There is a suit in the room to the left that you can change into. It is your size. I checked. Before you do that, you will shower. After you shower, and after you change, you will meet me on the patio, just through that door. Do you understand?” I still had no idea what the hell was going on, but… If you saw her, you wouldn’t ask questions either.
I did as I was told. As I approached her on the balcony, I noticed she had too had changed. Instead of the blue dress, she was now wearing a black dress with a glass of chardonnay in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. “Thank you for joining me, Mr. Wells.” She said not turning her head. “I have been wanting to meet you for a while.”